Do you ever feel like you have no one to talk to? There is no one who is like you, who has the same problems, interests or way of looking at the world? Obviously, that’s not true, there are probably loads of people who are like you, somewhere out there in the digital world. But not in your physical one. Among your surrounding you are unique. Congratulations, too bad that a side effect of being unique can be loneliness. Not necessarily all the time, but there are those moments when you feel alien among the people you know best. Because people don’t really listen to the things you talk about but also because they don’t respond either. Nothing in common, nothing to share, no new inputs. Someone asked me why there are people who share their version of a problem on posts such as this one. Simple really, because they are looking for someone to listen. Not that they are desperate for someone to listen, sometimes it’s just nice to find people who can relate.
I don’t think you can blame the people in your life for not listening or sharing your interests. If you do then you probably have to take a look at yourself too and realize that you do the same to them. Most of us are after all primarily looking to talk to others, not listen. And yet it still sucks, to have no one to talk to about the things that matter to you. One of the reasons why I have started to write down my own thoughts like this is because there isn’t really someone to talk to about the things that I think about most.
Ironically often once you have someone who is listening, you have nothing much to talk about in the first place. You find you’re much more empty than you thought you were. Keeping silent all the time because you felt like no one would listen anyway has made you think you have a million thoughts you need to share, but once you got some of them off your chest you find that it’s actually enough. How alone and distant we are from others is often dependant on how distant we choose to be. The more you feel distant, alone and not heard, the more you become that way and stay in that dark place. Usually, the people in your life are more than willing to listen, but you don’t ask. That’s no good. We all have things of our own to deal with, so don’t expect others to guess your feelings. There is also the chance that it is just that, feelings. Feeling exhausted, low and stressed makes you tempted to feel lonely and isolated too. We interpret things differently depending on our feelings. But even if you really don’t have anyone to talk to, there are ways to make yourself feel better. You can do what I do and basically talk to yourself. Or you can go out and actively search for someone who can relate. It’s not always easy to find like-minded people of course, but if you constantly feel like you have no one to talk to, then that’s really the only remedy.